Hello, patterns in my mind now moving slow

ergh. just ergh. today is not a good day. good news: my mum is being awesome and i love staying with her, biology coursework A much? chemistry coursework is over! bad news: i have a this stupid college interview on thursday and i am dreading it. my portfolio is nowhere near ready and i only have two days to finish it! if i dont get in im screwed cos its my only fall back. im still so behind at school and my teachers are stressin at me 24/7 it feels like these last couple of months are draggin so bad. i need to lose weight, ive piled on the pounds and feel so disgusting. ontop of that my sister is the biggest idiot ever. i feel bad for saying this but at the moment i hate her. alsoooo im finally going doctors this week to get a blood test sorted cause this being tired all the time sucks! im gonna go crawl into bed and worry all night about thursday. ergh why am i such an anxious person? x

so i'm pretty happy. my mum is finally home!!!! i missed her so bad. and even better news - shes on complete detox. im so proud of her, shes doing so well. i just hope she can keep it up.

today was lazy day AGAIN. i've got piles and piles of work to do, but due to me going out last and getting hammered (again..) i couldnt face doing anything productive. my hangovers last like 24hrs ergh.

things to do:

1. apply for bath college (URGENT!)
2. chemistry plan
3. biology homework
4. art essay
5. finish up sketchbook & final piece

happy days!

email x

i HATE biology write ups. seriously. im so bored.

5.47am. and im wide awake. damn insomnia.

i just don't understand you. i can't even talk to you anymore. how can something that went on for years fade away to nothing? but i guess its alright, i mean, you have someone else. everyone has someone else. where's mine?

wow, my sleeping pattern is fucked. and its only like 2 weeks in. i can only imagine what winter will be like. i wish i could hibernate. then come out and party.

today was better. i love it here. i keep telling myself only one more year but it seems so far away.

oh, and he likes brand new. now he is even cuter! well used to be anyway.

night homies x (if i ever get to sleep)